some things are more important

It's been almost a year. I can hardly believe it! A year since the day Gavin proposed. 


Which, in a backwards kind of way, reminds me that I should post the proposal story. But another time. For now my mind is preoccupied with wonder at how the hell I've arrived at this point in my wedding plans.


In the sheer heart exploding happiness of new engagement, my obsession with the W word commenced. I found myself planning the most spectacular event that would be in itself, worthy of an oscar.  I wanted to wow. 


We were to get married in New York. That was certain. It's the city where we fell in love and as a place, it holds so many gorgeous, happy and hilarious memories for us both.  After searching for a venue that would do the city justice, I found Midtown Loft & Terrace in Manhattan. A rooftop wedding. That was the wow I was looking for.

This venue is beyond stunning and I would highly recommend that any of you thinking of an NYC wedding have a look at this place. The staff were fantastic and more than helpful with my many transatlantic questions and queries.

Your probably now wondering where this fantasy comes to an end. Well, lets just say here. I had a conversation with my Dad, who wanted me to take my head out of the romance cloud for a moment and realise the consequences of my idylic notion. 

At first I was a little bit angry at my oh-so-perfect bubble being burst.  However, my Dad is making a hefty contribution to our wedding and so it was only fair to listen to what he had to say.  I can now say that I am so glad I did. 

I was quite happy to have a small wedding of 30 people. I knew there would be those that would be unable to attend for various reasons due to the distance. But selfishly, my opinion was "If people want to be there, they'll find a way to get there". I cringe at the thought of this now. I don't come from a rich family and don't have many well off friends, so (as my Dad rightly pointed out) we would be imposing a financial strain on a lot of our guests. This was enough to get me rethinking the whole thing.

Then there is my Nanny. The only grandparent I have left and the one with whom I have always been the closest. She has never left the home. Afraid of flying and uninterested in traveling. She is also, as much as she doesn't like to admit it, getting on in years.  I knew that this trip would but a lot of pressure and stress on her but she wouldn't miss it for the world. I did not want to put her through that.

So Gavin and I regrouped and came to a solid decision that we would forego the intimate rooftop wedding in New York in favour of a total blow out Rock & Roll party at home! I have to say that typing this up has made me realise how glad I am that I changed my mind. I am loving planning every bit of this wedding, it has organically grown into a perfect expression of Gavin and I, of everything and everyone we love. 

There is a lot of talk these days surrounding the whole "your day your way" attitude. And trust me, I totally believe that every person deserves their perfect wedding, whatever that may be. However, I think a lot has to be said for looking after your family and friends. I am not saying you should bend to every sugared almond favour request or gasp of horror at your venue. All I mean is that I now know I will have my Nanny there, all glorious, happy and proud... and that means more to me than any fairy tale in New York.