Tuesday, 21 December 2010

i hate snow

Ok, bold statement.

But I am slightly disenchanted with the powdery white shite. In general terms, I actually really love the stuff. I love watching it fall when I'm cosied up on my sofa with a steaming cup of tea. I love the childish fascination of wanting to build the best snowman in the world! I love the adult fascination of exactly how many inches of snow have fallen in your area or how low the temperature got.

What I do not love is the constant scare mongering by the media. The pictures of cars wheel spinning and bumper to bumper motorways. People complaining that it's "too cold!". It's fucking winter! What do you expect? And I shall bet any money that they're the same people winging that it's "too hot" when we occasionally get a wee week of summer.

The first day of snow in our street.

Now, I am not proposing that we all go frolicking into the wonderland in celebration of the snow. I am just saying that I think we need to live with it, learn from it and get on with it... like everyone else in the world seems to be able to do.

I know that there may be some of you reading this thinking "Aye, ok for you to say.. I haven't been able to get to work/catch my flight/ receive post/buy presents" (delete as appropriate). But I do know how this feels. It's not nice is it? Gavin and I have suffered greatly because of the stuff. Not only has my sexy man friend been  out of work for the last few weeks (and he's a driving instructor so no work = no money) but we are due to fly home tomorrow night to Belfast to spend Christmas with my family.

The love of my life walking into the wilderness. How Dramatic.

We managed to get home by the skin of our teeth last year which was great... but this year, I feel that I NEED to get home. If I don't get home, we will be spending Christmas with Gavin's family, which in essence I have no problem with, I love them all and already see them as an extension of my own family. But I feel that I would be spending the whole time pining for my own Christmas, my own traditions and my own family. I also feel that it would be a topic of conversation. A topic that I would have to put a brave face on for when inside I would be secretly gutted. Gutted and heartbroken...

You see it's my last year as Naomi Farrell. The last time I can really indulge in the childish nature of Christmas with my family. I know that I can always go home at Christmas even after I'm married, but it kinda feels like this is my chance to say goodbye to my childhood. Next year I will be Mrs Naomi Liddell. A lady. A woman. A Mrs. and potentially in some years to come A Mummy. So I want to spend this one in my PJ's that my Mummy buys me, eating stuffing that my Daddy makes, watching Christmas films with my Brother and Sister.

Am I the only one attaching so much emotional importance to this? How do you feel about your last Christmas as a "insert maiden name"?

Sunday, 5 December 2010

6 month bliss

So we now have 5 months and 21 days to go.

And I feel glorious.

As you may have known through following the blog or my tweets, I have been a tad stressed about the impending day... on occasion. It's a very twisty road for me. Some days I am bursting with pride and anticipation, some days I am bursting into tears at the thought of not having a colour scheme (which, of course, I still do not have). But I can honestly say that in the entire 16 months that I have been planning the shenanigans, I have not felt so blissfully happy and at ease with the whole process as I have done this past month.

See... this is me really really really happy
(at our engagement shoot)

Seriously, everything is rosy. Gavin and I have been having so much fun together and I don't feel at all consumed by the wedding. Which is how I thought I would be feeling at this point in time. But I have a delicious balance on the go at the moment. Both in my head and in how I spend my time. However, I think the main change has been my attitude toward the task. It's so much more relaxed and enjoyable.

I am a bit unsure as to why this is... It may be because I am now doing rather than planning. It may be because the 27th of May is in sight. It may be because I am now making solid decisions. Or it may simply be because people have changed comments from "2011? Och, you've got looooads of time pet." to "May? Not long now, eh?". Whatever the reason, long may it last.

I am not quite blonde enough to believe that I will feel no pressure or strain as the days tick by, but I would certainly like to keep this sense of equilibrium that I seem to have found. So please tell me, is it possible to remain cucumber cool in the last throes of wedding planning or are we all doomed to a complete emotional upheaval as the day draws nearer?